Pryor Chronicles I I Hate Goodbyes
by GrooveLord
Summary: Madelyne Pryor makes a sad goodbye to Nate Grey, the Mutant Shaman, who is now one with the world.


Pryor Chronicles I - I Hate Goodbyes  
  
All of the characters in this story are (c) Marvel Comics Group and (c)Warner Communications/DC Comics, respectively. This is meant to be a public domain work of fan fiction only, and no challenge is intended against the rights of the respective copyright holders.  
  
Please direct all feedback to the author, Chris Bell, at coridan@optonline.net . Plot and original characters (c) Chris Bell 2003. Distribution of this work for profit is illegal. Please do not archive this story without first contacting the author to obtain permission.  
  
Warning - While the story below does not contain violent or sexual situations, allusions to sexual situations and adult language are contained in the dialog. This story has a PG-13 rating.  
  
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I find myself locked in a space that's not space, for an eternal moment.  
  
One moment, I was lying besides Nate. He was sound asleep. I was beginning to make plans, for the myself and the boy.  
  
Physiologically, I'm only about 5 years older than him. I don't know how many times I wanted to take him to bed. However, he had his one, true, special love. That ended tragically. So, now, I take care of him as best I can.  
  
How little did I know that he would be taken away from me, poof, just like that.  
  
What follows below is how we said goodbye. I really hate good byes. I really hated this one, but it was the best I ever had.  
  
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When I was finally unlocked from this small cell of non-being, my shields and powers were up. I knew I had been attacked, but more so, I specifically felt Nate's absence, yet presence. In our New York City apartment, I telepathically cast about, hoping he would hear me. He flies, but can't teleport, like I can.  
  
(Nate?) I send out. I'm there, in a messy living room wearing nothing but a T-Shirt. (Dammit it, boy, where are you?)  
  
Then I feel a whisper. --I'm all around you, Red. I just found that you're you, and not the Queen. If I had only known. Come out to the roof. It won't be much longer before I go up the spiral. I have a bunch of worlds to protect. I wanted to say goodbye before I fully left.--  
  
I run up to the roof, getting some stares from people in the hallways. I make it up to the roof.  
  
In the clear night sky, I can see him. He's almost as big as God. He's in the clouds and the air in the patterns of traffic and in the neon lights. He's in the life energy of the very planet.  
  
(Nate, how? This better not be a joke!)  
  
--I wish it were. I wish I could take you with me. Eventually, you'll be able to follow me, but only when you heal up. You're still hurting, Red. I wish I could make it better, I really do.--  
  
He relates to me how a counter dimensional parallel of myself, who claimed that my return was just a ruse, that she was actually me all this time. (That bitch! If I were there with you, Chuckles, I would have kicked her ass myself.)  
  
He laughs back, like the soft wind. --No, Maddy. She would have killed you. I would have been powerless to stop her. It all worked out. I thought I lost you. I really did.-- I can feel the bleakness inside his emotions, even though he's everywhere. I can feel his love. It's something so sweet, it hurts.  
  
--I've spent the past two years, becoming a Shaman, of sorts. There's a spiral of worlds, above and below ours. Now, I'll protect the whole planet. To save the life energies of everyone being harvested, I had to become one with the planet. Pretty soon, I'll sleep. I'll be in touch, as much as I can, from time to time. Only when I attained my new state did I sense where she put you. I released you.--  
  
I kneeled on the hard tar of the roof. Tears rolled down my face. I was being left alone, again. "First Scott, then Alex, and now you! Please, I can't take this anymore! Don't leave me! I'm alone. Alone! Don't leave me alone!" I cried and cried and cried. I howled and gasped for breath. Unlike the other times, when I was all hate and burning rage, now, I was just pain and emptiness. My lungs heaved with pain, and my gut ached. No. Not again.  
  
--Maddy. I'll always be here. I'll always be with you. And, God, I love you so much. Sure, you played some games with me, but that's because you were hurting too. When it came down to Stryfe, and all those other times, you were always at my back. You always cared for me, and were there for me, whenever I needed you the most. I wouldn't have been prepared to become a shaman if it weren't for you. You taught me toughness and canniness and common sense.--  
  
I heaved and sobbed. (Oh, God, Nate!) I said with my telepathy. I laughed a stupid little laugh. (What the hell am I going to do now? Get a job, have kids, and be someone's little wife?) The wind, Nate, laughed with me a stupid little laugh that was however all tenderness from him. It was actually funny to me at the time.  
  
For a long time, the wind was silent.  
  
--I hope you're not going back to Shaw.--  
  
The Hellfire club. The sex was great. Selene? A dumb bitch. I stayed away, while it worked out its difficulties.  
  
A useful resource, but not an environment I wanted to establish my roots in. Sinister wanna-be's. Shallow and lacking courage, ultimately.  
  
(So, Nate, what should I do? Go and become a nun? Beat on a tom tom drum in the desert? Go to Xavier on my hands and knees and put on a silly uniform with a big X on my belt?)  
  
There was a pause.  
  
--Actually, I want you to go see Scott and Jean. I want you to tell them what happened to me. I'll give you a mental record of the whole thing. Tell them that even if they weren't my real parents, they're nearly as much parents to me as you are. Tell them how I spent my last days, Madelyne. And, please... make peace with them.--  
  
I stood stunned.  
  
(You arrogant little fucking snot! Peace with them? They abandoned me! I wasn't Jean Grey! My child was taken away from me! You can't be serious. You can't.)  
  
I slumped back down to the roof floor. I said aloud, "God. What am I going to do?" Finally, I felt helpless, and alone.  
  
--It's almost time for me to go, Red.--  
  
I looked up at the sunset. I could see him, outlined in the sky.  
  
--Be happy. That's all I want. Make your peace with them. They're good people. They're a family, who would take you back, if you would just ask.--  
  
I spoke aloud, again. "Nate, you can't be serious. I..."  
  
The hate had gone out of me, for once.  
  
Oh, Nate, you knucklehead. You taught me how to love again, didn't you.  
  
"...I could give a shit less about Xavier and his fucking happy family. But..."  
  
I paused. I'd have to see.... Scott, again.  
  
But, I'm not weeping willow.  
  
"I'll make my peace with them, but because you asked me too. I'll honor your last request, to me."  
  
If anything, I keep my word.  
  
--I'm almost about to go, Maddy. God, it's beautiful. I can see every single ugly and beautiful thing on the planet. It's this glorious rhythm, this living and breathing thing. I'm a small part of every particle, from quarks to continents. I'm the Shaman of this planet. It's mine to protect and love.--  
  
I say there, and extended my mind openly to him, without defenses, as I sat with my knees to my chest on that June morning.  
  
--Will you find Threnody for me? Make sure she'll be OK?--  
  
It was at that moment, as the experiences he had gained in his alternate universe travels, were given to me.  
  
It was also at that moment that I finally accepted he could love me, and love others, too.  
  
"Yes, boy. I now have a grandchild to take care of. I'll make sure she knows."  
  
Another pause.  
  
"Thank you for everything."  
  
I felt an emotion as to what could be best described, as a smile.  
  
--It's time, now. Be well, Maddy. I'll always love you.--  
  
(Likewise, Nate. I'll always remember you. I love you.)  
  
As the sun rose, I sat on the top of a New York City roof and felt Nate Grey, the X-Man, melt into the life of the world.  
  
Long live the Shaman.  
  
Chris Bell  
  
6/2001 


End file.
